Things I learned at MIT:

0000   Sleep is for the weak.
0001   Men are smarter than women. 
0010   Hygiene is optional.
0011   The combination of impatience and arrogance is irresistible.
0100   The emperor has lots of clothes.
0101   Ridicule is a teaching technique.   
0110   Interesting life forms grow in unwashed coffee cups.
0111   "I told you so" and "I knew that" are nice things to say.
1000   Coffee creamer is a nutrient.
1001   Aesthetics?????
1010   Irritability is a social skill.
1100   You can always have less self-esteem.
1101   Humans were meant to dwell in dark airless places, illuminated
       by a flickering glow, interrupted periodically by the 
       janitorial staff, checking for signs of life.
1102   Rinse and repeat..      

An explanation of the links:

As befits the many years of research invested in this project (thousands of well-spent sponsor dollars), this list has generated much scholarly discussion and debate. Many MIT researchers, in particular, felt compelled to debug it for accuracy and precision, with the ostensible aim of making it more accurately and precisely humorous. Alas, I was not swayed by truth maintenance arguments, nor moved by the fact that the advice was free, nor awed by the fact that it emanated from the humor capital of the world. I have, however, received some e-mail out of which I truly got a kick (parse?) so enjoy. Names and sometimes locations changed to protect the unsuspecting.