0000 Sleep is for the weak. 0001 Men are smarter than women. 0010 Hygiene is optional. 0011 The combination of impatience and arrogance is irresistible. 0100 The emperor has lots of clothes. 0101 Ridicule is a teaching technique. 0110 Interesting life forms grow in unwashed coffee cups. 0111 "I told you so" and "I knew that" are nice things to say. 1000 Coffee creamer is a nutrient. 1001 Aesthetics????? 1010 Irritability is a social skill. 1100 You can always have less self-esteem. 1101 Humans were meant to dwell in dark airless places, illuminated by a flickering glow, interrupted periodically by the janitorial staff, checking for signs of life. 1102 Rinse and repeat..
As befits the many years of research invested in this project (thousands of well-spent sponsor dollars), this list has generated much scholarly discussion and debate. Many MIT researchers, in particular, felt compelled to debug it for accuracy and precision, with the ostensible aim of making it more accurately and precisely humorous. Alas, I was not swayed by truth maintenance arguments, nor moved by the fact that the advice was free, nor awed by the fact that it emanated from the humor capital of the world. I have, however, received some e-mail out of which I truly got a kick (parse?) so enjoy. Names and sometimes locations changed to protect the unsuspecting.